--Humour--

--Humour--

Every person is a Freedom Fighter;
    soon after marriage.

Master: Wat will u do wid Rs.100 lying on d floor? Will u keep it?
   Servant: Of course not.
   Master: Then wat will u do with it?
   Servant: I will spend it.

Many of Life`s failures are people who did not realize, how close they were to success when they gave up.

Don`t run through life so fast.
Then you forget not only where you have been, but where you are.

Nothing is so strong as gentleness, and nothing is so gentle as true strength.

Girl: Do you love me?
Santa: Yes Dear!
Girl: Would you die for me?
Santa: No, mine is undying Love!

Boy at a ball: Whenever I dance with you, the music lasts only a short time.
Girl: No wonder, the band leader is my fiance.

A Bumper Sticker on a married Man`s Car:
Do not disturb...
Already disturbed.

Santa wakes up in a hospital bed aftr a terrible accident & cries, `Dr. I can`t feel my legs`.
Doctor: Well of course u can`t, I`ve cut off both of ur arms.

Pappu: The people next door must be poor.
Jeeto: Why do you say that?
Pappu: Bcoz they made such a fuss when d baby swallowed a 10 paisa coin

John is stupid: Bipasha Basu

Bipasha Basu has always been frank and forthright. In the latest issue of Vogue she reveals how important social networking is for a star.

She is on Twitter and maintains a blog on her website. But beau John Abraham hates it he does not like the idea of letting strangers into his life through these networks.

Says Bips, "I didn't realise how good social networking was till I tried it. It's so direct. John's just being stupid instead of giving PR articles, it's better to talk yourself." Hope Johnny boy takes note.

Aishwarya has not banned Katrina for Abhishek

Dabangg all set to reach the Rs 100 crore mark

Meet the man who drives Priyanka Chopra crazy

Meet the man who drives Priyanka Chopra crazy

'Good Looking Ullu Ka Patha' meets Katrina Kaif

What's Wrong Between Akshaye and Akshay?

Sonam takes over 'unprofessional' Katrina's Italian Job

Sonakshi fears Dabangg's failure

Deepika getting rid of the infamous RK tattoo off her neck

Deepika Padukone is getting the infamous RK tattoo off her neck

Deepika Padukone is planning to go in for laser-assisted tattoo removal sessions to get rid of the telltale sign of her broken relationship with Ranbir Kapoor.

Chupke chupke
Deepika had got the tattoo -- in the design of a flower with the initials RK -- done on the nape of her neck at the peak of her romance with Ranbir. She had used a concealer to hide it when she shot for Lafangey Parindey and Ashutosh Gowariker's Khelein Hum Jee Jaan Sey.

In the past, Dippy has often been asked about the tat, but she has always evaded the question. Now she has finally decided to get rid of it.

A source reveals, "Deepika has made up her mind. She will be removing the RK tattoo. She's a strong girl and once she decides something, there's nothing stopping her. The decision also comes from the fact that she's in a happy place with her new boyfriend Siddharth Mallya and has completely moved on."

Says the actress, "Yes, I'm having the tattoo removed."

In H-Town, they Inked and blinked

Who: Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen
What: Each other's names
Where: On her ankle; on his wrist
How: She had it covered with the image of a fairy; he simply lasered it away
Why: It was the end of the relationship for her; his fianc ©e wanted it off

Who: Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton
What: Each other's names
Where: Angie on the arm, Billy on his bicep
How: She got the area lightened by laser tattoo removal, then covered it with the birthplaces of her kids. His was covered by an angel and the word 'peace'
Why: Divorce

Who: Britney Spears and Kevin Federline
What: She had pink dice inked, he had blue ones
Where: Their arms
How: Laser tattoo removal
Why: End of the marriage

Who: Paris Hilton and Nick Carter
What: Each other's names
Where: He on the inside of his wrist, she had it on her right butt cheek
How: She had hers laser removed, he covered it up with a skull and the phrase 'Old Habits Die Hard'
Why: They broke up three months after getting inked

Who: Pamela Anderson
What: 'Tommy', the name of her then rocker-husband
Where: Her ring finger
How: She changed the word 'Tommy' to read 'Mommy'
Why: She filed assault charges

Who: Johnny Depp
What: 'Winona Forever'
Where: On his chest
How: He had it changed to 'Wino Forever'
Why: Their love fizzled out

'Kangna, Mera Haq Hai Tum Par, You Are Made For Only Me'

Why is Aishwarya Rai fuming at Katrina Kaif?

A little birdie tells us that after the rumour that Katrina Kaif walked out of The Italian Job because she didn't want to be paired with Abhishek Bachchan reached Jalsa, Aishwarya Rai has been fuming.

It is learnt that she has told her hubby he should do the same and not work with her in Dostana 2.

A source reveals, "Ash is happy that the project has been postponed. Now that Kat's dates have gone for a toss with the film not taking off until mid 2011, Ash is hoping that some one else might step in." We hope it is Ash herself.
After all she was the first choice for the original.

Revealed: Ameesha's godh bharai plans for her BFF, Mrs Sanjay Dutt

Ameesha to throw baby shower for her BFF, Mrs Sanjay Dutt

Ameesha Patel is all set to throw an expensive baby shower for her best friend Manaayata Dutt next week. The Dutt family -- Sanjay's sisters Namrata and Priya included -- and friends are expected to attend.

Says a source close to the actress, "Ameesha considers Maana her best friend and wanted to give her a special surprise. She was one of the first to hear about her pregnancy and that she was expecting twins. She decided on gifting Maana a baby shower."

Special venue
The venue is a special one. Ameesha says, "My dad Amit Patel knows the owner of restaurant-cum lounge bar Veda, who is a partner with designer Rohit Bal. And with Rohit in the picture, it will be a designer baby shower.

There's one in Delhi, too. They were planning to open the Mumbai branch much later, but I requested them to open it up earlier for the baby shower. The menu will include dishes unlike anything anyone has ever tasted."

Miss Patel further reveals, "Sanju will come a little later with friends. The whole idea is to have a fun evening. It's a kind of western godh bharai (the actual one will be held in October at the Dutt's Bandra home along with a mata ki chowki).

The guest list will consist of Maana and Sanju's friends and colleagues."

Ameesha has already sent out a special invite -- a box of cupcakes with a poem in it.

"Minica Chabria, Sejal Shah and I have organised Maana's baby shower and the invites. The cupcakes were my idea as I love them. We wrote out the poem ourselves after surfing the net and mixing and matching."

What the poem says:

Twenty fingers, twenty toes
Plenty of work, Heaven knows!
Four little arms to hold tight,
Four little cheeks to kiss night-night!
Please join us for a baby shower...

Hot Koyna's House on Wheels

The actress is in Los Angeles, lives in a 3BHK apartment in a high-rise that has a peculiar safeguard against earthquakes

While Mallika Sherawat has returned from Los Angeles, Koyna Mitra is holding the B-Town fort in the City of Angels in her absence. The actress has been signed by an agency there that will manage her endorsements and projects. She is presently staying in a posh high-rise apartment in LA, which is on "wheels"!

Koyna laughs, "California is famous for earthquakes, so new high-rise buildings have huge wheels built on underground grids beneath the building. When earthquakes occur, they just sway in stead of crashing and falling."

Initially, the actress was staying at a villa in Beverly Hills but moved out due to security concerns. Her current apartment building has a lobby and full-time security."

Lovin' it

She chose to live in downtown LA as "It's bustling with activity and reminds me of India." Her spacious apartment on the 18th floor of Tenten Wilshire overlooks the Lakers stadium. It has three bedrooms and a living area.

The decor is white, black and chrome. Koyna's most excited about the walk-in closet, the make-up room and the gym, one level above her apartment.

But her favourite spot is the terrace. "I love it out there. I can see the mountains and at night the whole sight is beautiful with the city lit up."

She also has a live-in Mexican cook and assistant. "Carolina takes care of me and cooks my kind of food. I taught her to make adrak chai, though. I eat barley, vegetables and chicken six times a day. That's all. No fish and no rice."

Koyna's accent classes
Mitra is taking American accent classes. "My coach Jeff comes over. You can't do films here without an American accent because they don't dub. I train for three hours everyday -- in readings, voice recordings and body language. When you speak in a different tone, your body language changes too.

Jeff gives me lines and makes me sit and do them. Then makes me walk and do the same scene. He makes me stand in one place and do it."

My tears are for real, not for TRPs : Priyanka Chopra

    For the past few weeks, Priyanka Chopra has been shooting in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, for Fear Factor 3 " Khatron Ke Khiladi. The actress's first tryst with the small screen is proving to be both fun and exhausting.

With two stunts to be shot daily, the star has had no time to indulge in sightseeing and retail therapy. She has to be present on the Colors show sets every moment -- even as the contestants do their stunts. There is no break as she goads them to perform better.

One of the stunts was shot in a chocolate factory in Rio (where parts of The Incredible Hunk was filmed). PC wears a colourful short dress amd is full of life as she jokes with the crew members and participants when the camera is not whirring.

But she can't talk. It's only when she is zooming to another location in Rio for another shoot that she can. In the car while opening a mineral water bottle, the actress spills water on her dress. "Oh I always do this, " she coos as we ask her...

Suddenly there are too many B-Town stars at the same time on the small screen.
Yes, but I'm currently the first to say yes to a reality show and also the first as to go on air. So I stand at number 1!

How afraid are you of the much-dreaded TRPs that make or mar a show?
All this while, I used to dread Fridays, that is the time when we would know our movie's opening collections. Now it is going to dreadful Wednesdays for me -- that is when I will know the television rating points.

Tears (faked or otherwise) are an integral part of a reality show. Do you see yourself sobbing for participants who have to go?
Like most others, I used to think that the tears aren't for real. But now after having gone through it, I can say that they are. I have shed tears when one of the participants had to go. I was sorry for him and suddenly my eyes welled up while the camera was on.

Were you disappointed when the original choice (cricketers) on the show fizzled out?
Not exactly. If there had been only cricketers on the show, then they would be all be talking about the same stuff, now as the participants belong to different fields there is more variety.

Have you overcome any of your fears during the shoot?
From childhood, I used to suffer from arachnophobia - a fear of spiders. I dreaded them. But now after having held them in my hand for Fear Factor, I've overcome that fear.

What was the main reason you agreed to host Fear Factor?
My family -- my parents and my brother were kicked about it. They are regular viewers. There was no way I could have said no to it.

Nilanjana Bhattacharya Awesome Sexy Photos